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Power of Attorney? need advice

Power of Attorney? need advice

Postby - » Sep 13, 2013 12:10 am

My mother emailed me and asked me to give her Power of Attorney over me. I have been so messed up by this today and now I'm afraid to go to sleep.

Basically what is happening is that I'm having my therapist read my mother's emails and then guiding my response for my safety. Today my therapist read the email and my mom said she wanted Power of Attorney over me...I don't even know what this means so if anyone can give me advice or explanation to set my mind at ease.

I have a mental health advance directive where she cannot have a say. I'm changing it at the moment to fit my current situation and having someone sign it for me next week.

Does anyone else have a similar situation, what have you done to protect yourself?

Thanks!
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Re: Power of Attorney? need advice

Postby equidancers » Sep 13, 2013 6:33 am

I would contact your local volunteer lawyers' association or law school legal clinic or any pro-bono organization (you'll find something like this serving your area) and ask them for an explanation of exactly what giving power of attorney to your mother would mean in your life.

Taking the step to update your advance direction shows an incredible amount of responsibility and self-awareness. So, you may not need any assistance with the type of matters covered by the power of attorney (nor would it be in your interest, in that case, to hand over so many of your rights and the ability to make decisions for yourself). But. It may be possible to limit the time and/or scope of the POA (if there is a specific situation in which you really could benefit from her help).

Google pro-bono or volunteer lawyer associations. Call the closest law school and legal aid service. Get an appointment (or speak on the phone) with an attorney in your state regarding power of attorney. Only then will you be able to make an informed decision.
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Re: Power of Attorney? need advice

Postby equidancers » Sep 13, 2013 6:55 am

Also make sure you tell the attorney about the existence of/terms of your advance directive.
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Re: Power of Attorney? need advice

Postby - » Sep 13, 2013 8:18 am

Thanks equi!
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Re: Power of Attorney? need advice

Postby in.exile » Sep 13, 2013 10:50 am

Power of attorney can be very specific or very broad. It can mean someone has the ability to make health care, financial and other life decisions for you if you are deemed "incapacitated" -- and that term can also be specific or broadly defined. I agree that it's really important to find a pro bono lawyer or legal aid office to talk this over with. And if you're able or your therapist is able, to find out more specifics about what kind of PoA your mom is wanting.
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Re: Power of Attorney? need advice

Postby red sunday » Jan 02, 2019 11:30 am

coming from a place of life experience with POA'S....I would advise you NOT to fill out the POA.

when I had one I filled it out with the intentions of having my mother help me.

all she did was hold my veterans affairs disability checks from me---making it impossible for me to care for myself.

she also threw me into multiple psych wards and called the police on me multiple times for bullshit reasons.

(once I got mad after arguing with her---and punched a flower pot---which went flying and broke all over the floor. she of course flipped out because they were HER flowers...so she called the police on me. I spent a 2 weeks in jail over this bullshit.)

if someone ever offers to do a POA for you--immediately say NO. they will use that power for bad things that will make it rather unpleasant for you as someone with mental illness...meaning they will send you to hospitals any time you don't act "normal".

don't do it...its not worth it. I spent YEARS of my life revoking that POA. its not worth the struggle, dude.

--that is how I protected myself...by getting rid of the POA.

cheers
red sunday
He who forgives ends the quarrel---African proverb
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