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I am not financially stable!!! :(

Share your story and/or reflections on college mental health: experiences, services, trends, concerns, myths, and more.

I am not financially stable!!! :(

Postby sweetmadness » Oct 24, 2012 5:09 am

How do i become financially stable?

I'm not sure how much I would consider myself a real hippie, or what that means. I do not like being a part of the Capitalist world, and strive to overcome my anti-establishment values that were instilled by my hippie parents. My dad is financially stable, and is supporting my brother, mother, and me. My mom is disabled, my brother's in college, and I Can't seem to support myself because for years I have not had access to a car for myself.

I now have my license, and I'm trying to convince my dad to give me the refund from college so that I can buy a car and start working. It's just that he's so darn busy with his job he hasn't had time to talk to me for months, and also he just had tooth surgery so now I can't talk to him for a couple days or however long until he can talk and isn't wiped out from drugs for the surgery. I just don't know what to do! I'm scared of becoming homeless and I couldn't tell my dad that I should just be supported financially instead of being told I needed to go to college...because i personally think college is going to put me in debt and not help. He gets NO HELP whatsover from the government. NONE.

Because he has enough money just to get by for all of us with his one job as a computer programmer, but since it's a singularly large amount of money, I guess the government deems there no need to support us when he's trying to get my brother through college and cannot even help my mom, who has schizophrenia or something...and me, who now may have schizoaffective or something like Bipolar and ADHD. I hate mental illness, but I cant seem to change or control it without medication. I only take one anti-psychotic, had to stop taking ADHD meds because of them over stimulating me. I just want out, or need help, or something. I have been so stressed out about having to withdraw from school that I overdosed just this past few weeks ago, and didn't tell anyone in my family that I Had. I took a stimulant, antipsychotics, and Aspirin...I'm so stupid.

I'm being guilt tripped, even by my brother, who doesn't understand that i CANNOT FINISH COLLEGE RIGHT NOW. I am too sick and unstable. I need to write a letter to get a refund, but none of it goes to me anyways it goes to my dad who may not support me anymore in college or school etc. I am told repetitively that I must finish college and get a job, though I've been in and out of college for six years and I'm still just a sophomore. I have all my General studies out of the way, but my major requires 180 credit hours or something plus a minor. I still needed more science and math. I am terrible at math. I am just not smart enough anymore. WTH am I supposed to do especially if I don't have a car yet? ESPecially if I have NEVER EVER worked!!?? I'm soooo lost.
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Re: I am not financially stable!!! :(

Postby MyBigTakeOver » Oct 24, 2012 6:37 am

What would you be doing differently with a degree? What would you be doing if you were financially stable? Either you know the answer to these inside, along with the energies to make them real, or your Self is pushing you somewhere that you don't know exists, or you could date a guy that has financially stable parents. Or not. I bet being homeless sucks for women. Or not. A lot of people get by. A lot of people in houses are miserable. Whatever. Minimum Wage by TheyMightBeGiants has inspired me to new heights of being with ThePeople. A spiritual research project where I will only work at minimum wage for others (unless i am offered more in raises) as an incentive to build my own business....my dirty little dream that I would probably admit long after the "weird" stuff :)


}}}> Or Kill ME!!!<{{{
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"Yes."
"My Imagination."
"I thought you were going to say "Fear, itself."
"Then you have a small imagination."
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— Stephen King 'The Dark Tower'
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Re: I am not financially stable!!! :(

Postby MyBigTakeOver » Oct 24, 2012 6:40 am

PS: yes, anti-establishment conditioning is a pain to undo, but it instills a lot more useful insights along the waythan the one that makes 20-something LockSteppers.
"The scariest, most terrifying thing that I fear?"
"Yes."
"My Imagination."
"I thought you were going to say "Fear, itself."
"Then you have a small imagination."
Roland and Eddie
— Stephen King 'The Dark Tower'
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Re: I am not financially stable!!! :(

Postby fightforroses » Oct 24, 2012 2:23 pm

It doesn't sound like you need to push yourself through more years of academic butchery unless something really dramatically changes for you that makes you feel like you could really benefit from going back to school. When you say that men in your family do not understand this, I wonder if they need to understand, if it is really important whether they understand or not.

Myself, I've been semi-homeless since June, just camped out in the backyard of a rural activist house for some nights, a huge crowd of people just left so now I might be staying inside for a while before getting on the road again. Getting my license back and getting my own car would be hugely helpful for me, too. Do you have a license?

I'm looking into unpaid internships that provide housing, that's something I might advise except I also know those situations can get really maddeningly insular. Especially if you don't have your own transportation. I'm applying to an undergraduate program at Goddard since my experiences with regular college were really difficult to deal with- maybe check out their program, the independent-research thing might be easier.
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Re: I am not financially stable!!! :(

Postby MyBigTakeOver » Oct 24, 2012 2:31 pm

FFR, will you please post something about independent research with Goddard... I can research everything else with google, but this is getting tooth-gritting :-)
"The scariest, most terrifying thing that I fear?"
"Yes."
"My Imagination."
"I thought you were going to say "Fear, itself."
"Then you have a small imagination."
Roland and Eddie
— Stephen King 'The Dark Tower'
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Re: I am not financially stable!!! :(

Postby fightforroses » Oct 24, 2012 2:46 pm

Real Me unavailable due to bullying and harassment.
Equidancers, ESQ's rape fantasies about me available at
http://bit.ly/295mx7F ,
http://bit.ly/299egBd , and
http://bit.ly/297MGog
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