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Apathy

This is a place to talk about what it's like to live with or support someone labeled with a psych diagnosis and/or struggling with madness. How do you help someone in crisis? How do you make sense of being told conflicting things by different healers?

Apathy

Postby Foxy » Jan 05, 2018 6:09 pm

Hi guys.
In the autumn I've met a person with scizophrenia. At first everything seemed to be fine, we were equally very interested in each other and I felt that I've met my soulmate.
But then this person said that he was feeling bad and maybe we will not be able to see each other for some time, but we still can text each other.
I've never had an experience of dealing with a person with mental illness before, but yes, I assumed that he could feel so bad that he will not be able to see me or he may not want me to see him when he is not well, so I was okay with that. But in fact we practically stopped being in touch even by texts.
In November he said that in this period he feels apathetic and can't romantically like me and proposed to be friends. He already meant very much to me, so I agreed. And it is also not very important to me what kind of relationship we have. We've met in the middle of the month and spend wonderful time together, speaking about everything for 5 hours. We agreed that he will come to my place next week.
But he never came and said that he was feeling bad again. Then he stopped answering my messages, when I asked what happened, he said he didn't feel like communicating with anyone. I didn't insist and said that he had all time he needed and that I'm always there for him if he needed anything. This was our last conversation, in the end of November.
I don't know what happens to him since that time and I don't know what to do.
I did send him several messages, but I'm dealing with depression myself and feel pretty apathetic too.
So, my question is should I still send him messages from time to time? I asked him before and he said that it's okay for him to receive my messages even when he can't answer. At the same time I feel like it can be a kind of pressure on him, because he told me several times that he felt bad about his lack of communication and all. At the same time I'm afraid that he might think that I gave up on him, which is so not true.
I'm trying to be a good ally and I'd love to be the best one, so I need an advice (any advice, books and resources to read will work too), maybe an example from your experience of dealing with apathy or just some encouraging words.
Thank you.
Foxy
 
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Joined: Oct 08, 2017 5:08 pm

Re: Apathy

Postby naomibardo » Jan 06, 2018 2:57 pm

hello foxy.
I am too tired to respond to this in much detail atm.I have some ideas about it I suppose but I need the time and energy to write it which I do not have at present.
naomibardo
 
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Re: Apathy

Postby Foxy » Jan 06, 2018 8:16 pm

naomibardo wrote:hello foxy.
I am too tired to respond to this in much detail atm.I have some ideas about it I suppose but I need the time and energy to write it which I do not have at present.


Hi!
Please, take your time and answer when you have resources for it.
Thank you and have a good day!
Foxy
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Oct 08, 2017 5:08 pm

Re: Apathy

Postby NickF » Jan 07, 2018 11:13 pm

All I can say is what I've experienced, and I don't have schizophrenia but what you've described sounds similar to how I act when the depression gets bad. What helps me is if people insist on being near me, even when I'm not fun to be around. IT's because most of the time I stay away form people because I imagine I'm bringing them down. It might help if next time you speak to mention that you enjoy seeing them. Sometimes just hearing that helps. Sorry if this isn't what you were looking for.
"I was terrified when my doctor told me I had a unique and interesting personality trait, but then he told me about new zoloft."
NickF
 
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Re: Apathy

Postby Foxy » Jan 12, 2018 2:37 pm

NickF wrote:All I can say is what I've experienced, and I don't have schizophrenia but what you've described sounds similar to how I act when the depression gets bad. What helps me is if people insist on being near me, even when I'm not fun to be around. IT's because most of the time I stay away form people because I imagine I'm bringing them down. It might help if next time you speak to mention that you enjoy seeing them. Sometimes just hearing that helps. Sorry if this isn't what you were looking for.


Hi! Thank you very much for your response.
Yup, in my messages I mention quite often that this person is prescious to me and that I'm not angry or sad that he doesn't respond now, because I'm just worried and I wish I could do something for him.
I hope that my kind words can make him feel a tiny bit better, but I'm not sure at all.
I feel super apathetic too and I have difficulties with consentration, so last time I just wrote a message that I want to write a bigger message, but can't do it right now.
Foxy
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Oct 08, 2017 5:08 pm

Re: Apathy

Postby naomibardo » Jan 12, 2018 3:27 pm

I think its lovely that you are reaching out to him and that you care and are not putting any pressure or anything.
I am sure it makes a difference and helps in some way to know someone cares even if he doesn't feel worthy of it himself.
I hope it works out with the two of you.
naomibardo
 
Posts: 7612
Joined: Feb 17, 2014 8:52 am

Re: Apathy

Postby Foxy » Jan 12, 2018 7:38 pm

naomibardo wrote:I think its lovely that you are reaching out to him and that you care and are not putting any pressure or anything.
I am sure it makes a difference and helps in some way to know someone cares even if he doesn't feel worthy of it himself.
I hope it works out with the two of you.


This is sweet, thank you. :)
Foxy
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Oct 08, 2017 5:08 pm


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